Due to my physical limitations with my hip dysplasia, my surgeries, and some family issues, I have been out of work for a little over 2 months. For the last few weeks I haven’t been able to such as lift anything or exercise besides walking, and walking is limited due to my hips. This is not a complaint, it is just fact. But the complaint here is that it sucks!
On Tuesday I get to go for a recheck with the surgeon who performed my Panniculectomy, and at that time I will most certainly be asking if I can resume exercise. I know I have a weight restriction for at least 6 weeks of 10 pounds, so weight training isn’t an option yet. But if I could go to the YMCA and ride a stationary bike, or walk a treadmill for short periods that I can handle, or do some other aerobic activity, that would be wonderful! Plus I feel like I’m losing muscle mass. I know I’m not gaining weight back, but I feel lazy and depressed. I need activity.
I’d also like to be able to volunteer my time in the local shelter, or help a groomer with bathing dogs, or something of that sort. I need to find things to do outside of my home, with other people, in some sort of social environment. I miss my work so very much, but I don’t think I’d be capable of doing everything that being a veterinary assistant requires anymore, as sad as that makes me. That was honestly my dream job. I learned something new every day. It made me think, and exercised my brain.
I need to find more activities that do that for me. I’m going stir-crazy in my home all the time. I don’t know how I managed to be a stay-at-home mom for 12 years. It’s no wonder I had social anxiety so bad, being cooped up and secluding myself from other people. The social anxiety isn’t gone, but I certainly don’t want it getting worse again. I need to push myself to do more. I need to grow as a person, not take steps backwards.
I had Cecil last year, for about a year and a half. I got him as a baby from the farm store along with a second duck that didn’t live past a few weeks old. Cecil was my buddy, and stayed in the house until he was fully feathered. He followed me around and cuddled with me on the couch. When I put him outside, he ended up being more wild, and bonded with the neighbor’s duck who was just on the other side of the fence. Cecil and our dog Penny were buddies, but every so often she got a wild hair and would rough him up pretty bad. He lived through 3 bloody attacks, and then Penny stopped picking at him… until one day I left her out with him unattended for maybe 15 minutes, and she killed him quite brutally. She was pretty proud of herself, and I was just sick with grief. My duck buddy was dead. I swore I’d get another someday, but not while I had a dog.
Fast forward to now. Penny was being left unattended at home far too much, so I found her a new home where she can run and play with other dogs, and we can visit her any time we want. And the kind of dog I want is far out of my price range right now, not to mention I’m really not up for raising a new puppy at this time. So I got myself a new duck buddy!
He was hatched on April 12, and came home with me on April 13. He is a Pekin, which means he will be about 7-8 lbs full grown, and white, just like Cecil was. His name is Clyde.
I’ve decided since our yard isn’t fenced, he will be a house duck unless for some reason that doesn’t work out. But the plan at this point is to keep him in the house. I have purchased some starter duck diapers, and when he outgrows those I can purchase a permanent one in adult duck size. Since he’s an only duck, he has really taken to us. This will be a fun journey. 😀
To follow his story and growth, you can subscribe to my Instagram feed, link available in my widgets here on the blog page.
I’m sparing you the photos, because it’s gross…
Now that the front splitting area is under control and healing well, the one on my right hip has come much farther open. It is at the end of the incision, and has been draining quite a bit. Last night I was using q-tips to gently clean out some darker colored stuff inside it, and I decided since it was very obviously open under the one remaining steristrip that went over it, I should probly take it off so I could clean it better. Once I did that, I saw just how ugly and deep it was under there, and how much it stunk, I had a bit of a panic attack. I had Jake take me to the ER in the town where I had the surgery done. The ER doctor was in the room for maybe 30 seconds and told me to go to my surgeon’s clinic today. It took me a while to get an appointment made today, and my surgeon was not in the office today, but I did see his nurse. She looked at it, measured it, and told me that since this is such a big surgery and such a large incision, its is very common for them to come open a little bit here and there. She assured me I was okay and not annoying or naggy for being so concerned about all these wound changes. She assured me it was just because I have never been through this before so its all unknown to me, and let me know that she sees things like this every day in their clinic. She said keep the wound clean and dry, no ointment or anything. Continue taking antibiotics, and leave it open if desired to let air get to it, as it will help it heal. But keeping it covered is okay too, since it drains and I don’t want that all over my clothes. Either way.
I feel a little embarrassed about how upset and scared I was over it, but she’s right, I haven’t ever been through this before. Every surgery I’ve ever had has healed up without an issue. And this one is much bigger and major. But now that I know its not dying tissue, and its normal and healthy for what it is, I can relax and just re-focus on healing.
Just when I thought things were healing well, I notice some extra drainage right in the front middle of my incision line on Friday of last week. At first I freaked out, thinking it was a lot deeper than it actually is. I called the surgeon’s clinic and they told me it has to heal from the inside out, that there’s nothing I can do. So I’ve been babying it over the weekend. However, I finally pulled off the saturated and no-longer-stuck steri-strips this morning, and its not nearly as bad as I originally thought. I think the mystery of being behind bandage, paired with my fear of a wound coming open, played hell with my imagination. Included in this post is an actual photo of how open it is. It’s probly about 1/3 of an inch deep, but keeps closed with tight bandaids, enough to keep it from gapping and open enough that it won’t get infected hopefully.
I’ve found that the little open spots here and there, like my belly button and other very small spots like this one have a hard time closing up. And I think that’s because they are covered 24/7 with compression garments and/or absorbent gauze in an attempt to keep them dry. I think its hard for them to heal as well when they don’t get much air and are ALWAYS covered. But I’m not allowed to go without the garments, so I guess for now I’ll just stay on antibiotics to keep infection from taking over, and keep cleaning and drying the wounds as much as I can.
Furthermore, I am not really satisfied with how I’m looking cosmetically, so I’m considering a consultation with a different surgeon to get their opinion and see if there’s anything we can do to fix what I don’t like.
I haven’t done a “Trending In My Life” for quite some time I realized. I got out of the habit of blogging or vlogging there for a few months. So I thought I’d give a little update. I don’t think I’ll try to do these monthly anymore, but I will try to do them periodically as things change.
Game: Going right back to THE SIMS with this one. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to play for any amount of time. But since I recently sold my iPad Pro and purchased a decent laptop computer, I am able to get back to playing again.
TV Show: CW’s No Tomorrow, streaming on Netflix. And Awake, also streaming on Netflix. No Tomorrow is a very upbeat romantic comedy that makes you look at what you would do if the world was coming to an end in the very near future. It helps you explore the possibilities of stepping outside your comfort zone and taking chances in your life to make your life more fulfilling. A very fun adventure, and I’m sure hoping for a 2nd season! Awake is about a man who got into a major car accident and is living 2 realities. In one reality he lost his wife in the crash, and in the other he lost his son. I’ve only gotten through the pilot plus a little more, but very intriguing so far, for sure.
YouTube: I’m no longer watching YouTube regularly, so the YouTuber section will now be discontinued. For that matter I’m really no longer vlogging anymore either. I enjoy writing a lot more than speaking into my camera. I’ll still post the occasional video of things that we’ve been doing, concerts, etc. But vlogging is on hold for now.
Music: I’m always looking for new music. Recently some of the bands I’ve been listening to are Pop Evil, Highly Suspect, Red Sun Rising, and Twenty-One Pilots. I’ve even seen 3 of those 4 in concert this year so far!
Interest: As always, I’m learning as much as I can about the Panniculectomy surgery I had and about the Breast Reduction I have coming up. I tend to research medical things that are going on with me as much as possible so I can be prepared. I do this by reading not only medical articles, but by trying to find patient testimonials as well. I found a site RealSelf.com that has been helpful with finding other patients to network with. And of course I’ve been trying to put as much info out there as possible too, for anyone looking for information from the patient point of view.