Home » Personal » Certainty


First, I want to apologize to my personal friends and family for the confusion, half-stories, venting and everything else I’ve said that’s been negative in regards to the subject discussed in this post.  Thought is power, and I refuse to lend power to negative thoughts any longer.

When Sean and I split in the spring I felt as though I lost my best friend.  And honestly I did.  So when I started talking to another guy I was basically looking for a replacement… or a rebound.  He told me everything he thought I wanted to hear and made me feel important.  As our friendship progressed, I unfairly expected the true “replacement” of my previous relationship.  I craved the same touch, the same intimacy, the same love.  And frankly, it didn’t happen.  It just didn’t work.  I know now that having him around kept me out of further trouble and actions I would later regret.  So his presence did have its purpose.

IMG_1139Over the last couple of months that Sean and I have been separated, I have been able to reflect on the relationship we had.  The joys, the frustrations, the good times and the bad.  I knew I messed up, and even blogged about it.  Thankfully Sean and I have agreed to leave the past in the past instead of dwelling on things we cannot change.  I feel like our 2 months of no contact really let us both get back in touch with ourselves, and helped us realize how much we love one another.  Of course I cannot speak for him, only for myself.  And for me, having him back around is like coming home.  My love and adoration for him continued even through the hard times, and I never want to separate like that again!  What he and I have together is genuine and wonderful, and there is no one else I would rather have by my side in this life.  I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt.  I’ve never been good at committing myself to one choice in a decision, but this time I have, and it feels great to be so certain!  I have my best friend back, and the love of my life.  And there is nothing I wouldn’t do to make it the best life for the both of us.

The kiddos are thrilled to have him back around too!  I am so happy everything is working out.

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