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It Just Is

This blog post is all over the place.  I haven’t been able to organize my thoughts very well, so I’m just going to type, and what comes out, comes out….

For a long time now I’ve wanted to write a blog post about my opinions on the whole gender issue that has taken society by storm over the past decade or so. My opinions on it are not widely accepted in the circles I consider myself a part of, so I’ve kept my opinions and views mostly to myself to spare friendships. Furthermore, I’ve always prided myself on being a very open and accepting person to all walks of life in general.  I accept all races, nationalities, backgrounds, religions, lifestyles, economic statuses, and so on. But this has me rethinking how I view myself, as much as others. It’s been a struggle for me because I’ve tried so very hard to change my thinking, to adjust and come to terms with a few things, societal changes. But the more it’s shoved in my face, the less okay I seem to be with it all.

I think, besides a few rare cases, gender IS determined at birth, by biology and anatomy. I cannot generalize every single being, because intersex individuals exist… and the occasional truly transgender person does occur. But this whole millennial (and younger) generation thinks they are all a different gender than the sex into which they were born, and come up with dozens of words for every variation for their sexuality. And I think it’s ridiculous and has gotten completely out of hand. Where is the line?

Some may say since I’m a straight female (with bi-curiosity), I have it easy. I accepted my sex as my gender and therefore I could not possibly understand the struggle of those who don’t accept their own bodies. I can not argue with that, because it’s true. All of it. But I am also entitled to my opinions and views on the trend – because that’s EXACTLY what it is. A trend.  A societal trend.

What brought on my views and opinions, you ask? Well, to be honest I’m not sure. In high school I briefly dated a guy that began living his life as a woman not long after high school. I accept her as a woman, and have no issue with that. I know someone else who identifies as a man but cross-dresses, and I’m cool with him entirely….

But then, I have another person quite close to me that was born and raised as a girl, but has decided to request being called male in the last couple years. Perhaps it would be easier for me to accept that if they lived as a male in any way whatsoever. But they don’t. They still dress as a female, live life as a female, have typically female interests and attributes.  So I still use she/her and her birth-given name, much to her dissatisfaction and frustration.  Defending herself, she says she doesn’t feel identifying as a male should dictate her clothing style or characteristics… that she can be a boy and still appear to be, and act female… and still demand to be called a boy.  And to be honest that makes absolutely no sense to me.  How can she legitimately expect to be referred to and seen as a male when she does not put off a male vibe to anyone at all?  To me, it feels like she is making a mockery of the whole LGBT community, specifically the transgender part.  Most of the trans people I have come in contact with will live life as the gender they feel they are.  Since when did it become acceptable to just claim a gender and run with it, regardless of other behavior?  It is absolutely absurd to me.  Also, it is creating a lot of unnecessary confusion and controversy.  Where is the line where this is considered a mental illness?  Why is this newer generation so quick to make up new labels by the day to claim to be a part of? And why do people just accept this as the new norm?

This all may seem like a crazy rant of some close-minded person who give no fucks about the LGBT community, and that’s where you’d be wrong.  I accept gay, lesbian, bi, trans, etc.  The ones who truly fit with that.  I don’t honestly care what people choose to do in the bedroom, or what/who gets them off.  I really have never understood why that’s such a discussion point.  It’s no one’s business.  But the gender confusion of this younger generation is a sickness, a terrible epidemic.

The reason I haven’t expressed my views sooner is because of my own internal frustration on the topic.  I have tried over the last couple years to adjust and come to terms with it all.  I have tried to relax and let it be.  But the more I see of it, the more I can’t help but be frustrated by it.  And it makes me feel like a bad person, a close-minded, unaccepting bitch.  But I’ve finally decided that rather than fight myself on this, I am going to accept that this is how I think and feel about the topic, and if it costs me friendships and family members, so be it.  This is who I am.  Just like YOU are who you are.  We can be friends, or not.  The choice is yours.


PS I’m not looking for a discussion, a debate, scientific evidence that disproves my opinions, or for anyone to “enlighten” me or change my opinions.  They are what they are.  Take them or leave them.