For months now I have been getting tired of social media such as Facebook. I’m on there way too much, and it seems everyone I talk to always wants to find me and message on there. Not as much texting, talking or even hanging out in person. I wanted to create some distance from technology so that is not my only source of socialization and entertainment. Then my friend and neighbor Tanya started talking to me about finding pen pals. Its something I have wanted to do since I was little, so I figured I’d give it a try. Come to find out, there is quite a community out there for pen palling. Funny enough, I found a lot on Facebook (figures!). I’ve made contacts in many parts of the world, and I hope to expand that even further. I have about 5-7 reliable, regular pen pals so far. Most of the ladies around my age, but it varies from early 20s to mid 50s. I hadn’t written letters for years, and it feels really good to sit down with a pen and paper and just write again. Not to mention how awesome it is to receive mail that isn’t bills or advertisements!!
Tanya and I started our own group on Facebook for “alternative” people to join and find pen pals. Its open and accepting to people of the LGBT community, Pagans, and all other different folks worldwide. We want diversity! 🙂
If you’d like to check it out and maybe give it a try, click here —> Alternative Pen Friends.
Besides that, there have been quite a few other changes going on around me. My mom, who used to be around me nearly every day, has been backing away a LOT as of late (starting in about November). She has always told me and my boys that family will be there for you when no one else will. And she still talks about how important we are to her. But I feel we are either being taken for granted or forgotten. She has a specific friend or two she is around for much of her time, and she doesn’t come to see us much anymore. The boys are missing her bad, and I was missing her too. I was quite upset and frustrated with it for a while, but over time I have adjusted. She has been really selfish and unreliable… and so I felt it was time to explain to the boys that grandma just won’t be coming around so much anymore, and that they need to get used to it (in an easier-to-digest way, of course). They knew, they saw the changes, but they still didn’t take it too well. But I refuse to hang onto any resentment or hard feelings, as it wouldn’t hurt anyone but myself. Its time to let go.
And with this change I am looking into moving out of town, once again. My mom is not an anchor for me anymore. It wasn’t a bad thing, but now that she has broken that link, its time for me to go. I detest this town, the school system and the majority of the people who live here. I stayed here out of love for family togetherness. I wanted my boys to have their grandma. But as that’s apparently a thing of the past, then so is living in this town. I’m sure its going to take a while to find a house we want to rent, because I refuse to live in another apartment if there is any way to avoid it. And I want to find a place where there is room for all 7 of us comfortably (me, Sean, the boys, the dog and cat). Preferably with a yard for play and growing food. And perhaps room for a baby, if Sean and I are able to expand our family. Hopefully with room for me to do some art, as I’d love to get back into it. I want to find a place we can make a home where we can stay and grow together as a family. I don’t know where this home will be – if we will stay in Iowa or find another place to make a life. But time will tell.
Its time to release all the negativity, frustration, and bad experiences in my life. Its time to find my peace with my family and create nothing but love and happiness for our future. Its time!