2016 Writing Goals

I have decided to participate in the Grimoire Challenge and The Pagan Experience to help with my writing this year, as well as rediscovering my spirituality.  I have gotten completely off track, and have been some of an atheist over the last year or so, not really knowing what I believe in, if anything.  Logically and psychologically I know that religion and spirituality are important for people.  It’s important for mental health, and it’s important for a sense of belonging.  That’s my point of view on it anyway.  I thought I was fine without honestly, until I started having more health issues recently.  And even though my health issues aren’t necessarily serious, it started me on the path of thinking about my own mortality.  And with a lack of belief in anything, I have started to feel more and more lost.  So this year I want to work on finding my path again.  I don’t know where it will take me, or if I’ll even consider myself Pagan anymore by the time I find it.  But I want to use this year and these “challenges” to help make myself whole again.

In my writing journey, I want to:

  • define my understanding of life
  • define my understanding of the afterlife
  • acknowledge a higher power
  • develop a plan of worship/prayer/spellwork/communication
  • define my morals and ethics
  • find a group of like-minded people to share experiences, wisdom and conversation with
  • continue to learn and grow through reading, conversations, writing, and mediation, documenting my progress along the way

I am not promising to write every day, or even every week.  With my busy schedule it can be challenging to stick to a schedule outside of work, kids and pets.  But I do want to post at least every 2 weeks (or at least 25 times) in 2016 on the topic of spirituality.

Here’s to a productive 2016!

Pen Pals and Parenting

For months now I have been getting tired of social media such as Facebook.  I’m on there way too much, and it seems everyone I talk to always wants to find me and message on there.  Not as much texting, talking or even hanging out in person.  I wanted to create some distance from technology so that is not my only source of socialization and entertainment.  Then my friend and neighbor Tanya started talking to me about finding pen pals.  Its something I have wanted to do since I was little, so I figured I’d give it a try.  Come to find out, there is quite a community out there for pen palling.  Funny enough, I found a lot on Facebook (figures!).  I’ve made contacts in many parts of the world, and I hope to expand that even further.  I have about 5-7 reliable, regular pen pals so far.  Most of the ladies around my age, but it varies from early 20s to mid 50s.  I hadn’t written letters for years, and it feels really good to sit down with a pen and paper and just write again.  Not to mention how awesome it is to receive mail that isn’t bills or advertisements!!

Tanya and I started our own group on Facebook for “alternative” people to join and find pen pals.  Its open and accepting to people of the LGBT community, Pagans, and all other different folks worldwide.  We want diversity!  🙂  If you’d like to check it out and maybe give it a try, click here —> Alternative Pen Friends.

Besides that, there have been quite a few other changes going on around me.  My mom, who used to be around me nearly every day, has been backing away a LOT as of late (starting in about November).  She has always told me and my boys that family will be there for you when no one else will.  And she still talks about how important we are to her.  But I feel we are either being taken for granted or forgotten.  She has a specific friend or two she is around for much of her time, and she doesn’t come to see us much anymore.  The boys are missing her bad, and I was missing her too.  I was quite upset and frustrated with it for a while, but over time I have adjusted.  She has been really selfish and unreliable… and so I felt it was time to explain to the boys that grandma just won’t be coming around so much anymore, and that they need to get used to it (in an easier-to-digest way, of course).  They knew, they saw the changes, but they still didn’t take it too well.  But I refuse to hang onto any resentment or hard feelings, as it wouldn’t hurt anyone but myself.  Its time to let go.

And with this change I am looking into moving out of town, once again.  My mom is not an anchor for me anymore.  It wasn’t a bad thing, but now that she has broken that link, its time for me to go.  I detest this town, the school system and the majority of the people who live here.  I stayed here out of love for family togetherness.  I wanted my boys to have their grandma.  But as that’s apparently a thing of the past, then so is living in this town.  I’m sure its going to take a while to find a house we want to rent, because I refuse to live in another apartment if there is any way to avoid it.  And I want to find a place where there is room for all 7 of us comfortably (me, Sean, the boys, the dog and cat).  Preferably with a yard for play and growing food.  And perhaps room for a baby, if Sean and I are able to expand our family.  Hopefully with room for me to do some art, as I’d love to get back into it.  I want to find a place we can make a home where we can stay and grow together as a family.  I don’t know where this home will be – if we will stay in Iowa or find another place to make a life.  But time will tell.

Its time to release all the negativity, frustration, and bad experiences in my life.  Its time to find my peace with my family and create nothing but love and happiness for our future.  Its time!

Balor

balor_of_the_evil_eyeBalor is the Celtic God of death, and the king of the Fomorians, a race of chaotic giant warriors.  This race like to find a village, pillage and kill, and move on.  When Balor was a boy, he looked upon a poisonous brew that his father Druid was creating.  The fumes caused him to grow a huge poisinous eye, which when it looked upon someone they would die.  So he often kept his eye closed, if for no other reason than to keep from tripping over dead bodies.  [1,2]

It was prophesied that he would be killed by his grandson.  So when his daughter Ethlinn was a young lady, he locked her in a crystal tower so that she would not become pregnant.  With the help of the druidess Birog, Cian of the Tuatha Dé Danann, managed to enter the tower and slept with Ethlinn. She gave birth to a son, but when Balor learned of his existence he threw him in the ocean. Birog saved the boy and gave him to the sea god Manannan mac Lir, where he was raised. The boy, named Lugh Lamhfada (Lugh of the Long Arm), became a member of the Tuatha Dé Danann and led them in the second battle at Mag Tuireadh.

In this second, and final battle, Balor killed King Nuada of the Tuatha Dé Danann with a glance from his eye. But when he opened his eye to kill his grandson Lugh, the latter managed to rip out Balor’s eye with a sling and Balor fell dead to the ground. [3]

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Written for the Pagan Blog Project | Check out my Pagan Blog Project Page for 2014

Bifröst

img-bifrost

“Bifröst (Old Norse bifrǫst, literally the “tremulous way”, from bifask “to tremble” and rǫst “a distance”) in Norse mythology is the bridge leading from Midgard, the realm of mortals, to Asgard, the realm of the gods, which the gods travel daily to hold their councils and pass judgments at Urdarbrunn (Well of Urd) under the shade of the tree Yggdrasill. The bridge itself is the rainbow and its guardian is the god Heimdallr, whose hall of Himinbjorg is located at the upper end of the bridge. The red color was the flaming fire, which served as a defense against the giants. The bridge is destroyed at the end of the world, Ragnarök. It was built by the Æsir.

Much of what we know concerning Bifröst comes from Snorri (quoted below), but mention of it is also made in the Poetic Edda. For example, in Grímnismál, stanza 29 mentions Thor crossing over rivers (such as the Körmt and Örmt and the “Kerlaugs twain”) which boil from the fire of Bifröst each day on his way to the judgement place at Yggdrasil, and later in stanza 44 it is named as the best of bridges in a list of the foremost of things (including Yggdrasil of trees, Sleipnir of horses, etc). In Fáfnismál, stanza 15 (as well as Snorri) indicates that it will collapse when ridden upon by the fire giants during the destruction of Ragnarök.

Some scholars, including Ake Ohlmarks and Franz Rolf Schröder thought that Bifröst may have originally represented the Milky Way and was reinterpreted by Snorri as a rainbow when confronted with variations in terminology.

His alternative names include Bilröst, Ásbrú, Bifrost (anglicized form).”

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Written for the Pagan Blog Project | Check out my Pagan Blog Project Page for 2014
Contents of this post quoted from http://mythology.wikia.com/wiki/Bifr%C3%B6st