I’ve been feeling pretty lost lately. I have no job and have had crappy luck finding one, though I’ve had several interviews. My middle son has been having some pretty extreme behavior issues in school and at home again the last couple months after several months of doing better. My finances are in ruin. I haven’t been doing great with my diet and exercise, due to the stress, depression, and anxiety from everything else. And a few other personal problems I am choosing not to discuss in my public blog. I feel like I’ve been slowly losing myself over the course of the last few months… so what is a woman to do?
I have been distant from my spirituality for quite some time. I have been overly skeptical and leaning away from anything spiritual, focusing more on the logical and scientific ways of thinking. But I’ve gotta say, in tough times like these, science doesn’t bring me any peace of mind. So I’ve decided to start back in with my spiritual studies. A couple nights ago I asked my faithful tarot cards for guidance, and some wonderful wisdom came from them on all accounts of my current challenges. Then last night I picked up a couple of my Laurie Cabot books and started reading her philosophies on Wicca/Paganism, and how she applies it to other faiths and walks of life. I’ve gotta say, she is the person I left off with when I walked away from my spirituality, and she is the person reeling me back in and making me feel at home.
Basically the philosophy is, no matter what you believe in, or what terms you use for the Divine, it’s all the same. You can put a name to it, you can call it God or Goddess, you can worship, meditate, pray to yourself or with others, but no matter what, you’re still calling on the energies of the earth and the Universe to aid in your needs, and the needs of others. Even science confirms that directing energy with thought works. So not only do I have the analytical part of my brain appeased, but I can get back into the spiritual side of me, where I find companionship with like-minded people, and comfort knowing the Universe has got my back.
I plan to start going to a women’s group I’ve been considering joining for about 2 years now. I will start meditating when I can, and seeing my therapist again. And I’m going to take back control of my body for my own health and well-being as well. I’ve been slacking in many ways of self-care, and it’s time I start taking care of me again, so I can be the best I can be for not only myself, but my family as well.
I believe once I get back on track, everything else will start to fall into place, just as it should.